It has been a very hectic and sad time. My level of anxiety has hit it's all time high. Been on my knees alot praying for the strength to just push through it all and deal with it. All kinds of different feelings go through me. I'm relieved for my Dad, because he's not in pain anymore. He whispered to my daughter, "I don't know how to get well anymore." The last time I saw him, the doctor had inserted a feeding tube in him because he kept choking on his food. I said to him, Wow Dad a feeding tube, bummer! He smiled that great smile he had, and said, "yeah, I can't even sneak in a couple sips of Mountain Dew". Made me laugh. He was a Mountain Dew addict. He loved the stuff.
He was in the sunset of his life. My Mom was so tender and never left his side the last two weeks of his life. I was amazed and impressed by this. What a wonderful example she is to me. Married 70 some years, through hard times and good. Now she tells me, "I wouldn't want him back, he was suffering and I don't want him to go through that again. He's at peace". That is what comforts her.
She knows in her heart that he is with my brother who died when he was 2 years old. And I think she may be just a bit jealous because she isn't with them. She's 93, so it may not be long.
I am looking forward to cooler temps and crisp air. We're supposed to get rain this coming week, and boy oh boy do we need it! Everyone has gone home to their respective places. My son Jason left yesterday for Stockholm, Sweden where he lives. It was so hard to let him go. But it is what's best.
I've watered plants outside, vacuumed, dusted, laundry and now I'm cooking some chicken for a new recipe I'm going to try for dinner tonight and Tiah is snoozing on the couch, snoring away. Just keeping myself busy and keeping an eye on my Mom.