Friday, August 19, 2011

LOST.....


I have been feeling so lost, this whole summer has wizzed by and I hardly remember any of it.  I know somewhere in the back of my mind that I have had some good times this summer, but the biggest problem I've had lately is that I can't remember them.  I'm not quite sure why I'm so clueless this summer.  I guess it could be that I'm getting old, or I'm to tired to think much less remember anything, or it could be the anxiety I've had over my upcoming PET Scan of whether I have lung cancer or not.  All I know is that I'm trying my best to stay up and cheerful, but as the time gets closer I'm getting kinda grumpy, and less able to concentrate on what anyone says to me or on anything for that matter.  Not even TV or movies are doing the trick.  UGH..........Alone, I feel so alone.  It's awful.....

5 comments:

Kim said...

Susan, I'm sorry to hear about the health scare you are having. What makes them think you may have lung cancer? That worry is enough to make anyone's summer go by in a blur. I do hope you will be alright and that they find nothing.

Thinking of you....

Sending you lots of hugs too xxxx

Becca's Dirt said...

I'm sorry you are going thru this - sounds like a little depression. I can understand the anxiety about waiting to have tests done. Is there anywhere you like to go to get out of the house. What about a project with your hands. Sometimes that frustates me but also can be something healthy. I watch a lot of Food Network, HGTV and TV Land. I find FN and HGTV to be somewhat inspirational in that I find something I want to cook or ideas for home. TV Land is good old fashioned entertainment. I am wanting to see "The Help" and would love to take my mom and maybe my sister. Other than them I don't have anyone to go the movies with. Have you ever gone by yourself to a theater. I haven't and never gone out to eat by myself either. Wierd huh.

TexWisGirl said...

oh, truly it is the worry of your health that is making you feel disconnected, distracted, and fearful. i hope all will be okay!!!

Kimmie said...

Oh I can understand how you feel as we await the pathology results from Heartpoets skin cancer on his neck. We have both also been hit by a really horrid lurgy doing the rounds and that has flattened spirits also

Take care, keep smiling.


Kimmie
x

Mina said...

Susan, I am so sorry to hear you are down both physically and emotionally. Please try not to worry and just enjoy each day as you live.

Take some special time for yourself, maybe a journal would help you clear your mind. I journal often and if nothing else, it is a tremendous aid in putting things back into perspective, something that gets so misplaced with our overly busy lives. My thoughts are with you, sweet friend.